52 Comments
User's avatar
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Oh, Maia! My heart goes out to you - this sounds deeply unsettling, to put it mildly. I hope you’re still finding a sense of serenity and refuge - both in your home and in your heart.

I love your line here, and find it so true: “The Buddha’s teachings almost always are more pragmatic than esoteric, when you practice them deeply.” I’ve been rereading the Tao Te Ching lately and am currently in the latter half of the book, which talks a lot about wise leadership. Here too, the message is one of: “Do this, and you will be at peace - and things will actually go better for everyone.” Thank goodness for such teachings and places of practice.

Lots of love and care to you. ❤️

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

Thank you, Dana. Mutual support across the Pacific!

That is such a great insight from the Tao Te Ching, which of course is one of the roots from which Buddhism emerged. It seems so simple to me and I'm befuddled that more people don't 'get' this. The world would work much better for everyone if we stayed on the path of these tried and true teachings (which can be done from a secular perspective as well). But alas.... greed, ignorance, and hate...

Expand full comment
John F. Eden's avatar

Gosh! So sorry you had to go thru this! Am sorry I’m just now seeing it! My reading of anything is hard, and I’m so busy with things I have to read for my job at the paper that I hardly get to read things I’d like to beyond headlines! Thanks for this wonderful response to such a horrible experience! Thinking of you!

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

Thank you, John, I appreciate you reaching out!

Expand full comment
Kimberly Brown's avatar

May you be at peace with the unfolding of life, Maia. Big hugs.

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

Thank you, Kimberly -- palms together and hugs

Expand full comment
Teyani Whitman's avatar

Thank you for the deep perspective you have shared here. And I’m so sorry that I your home has also been violated by nastiness. I love what you are doing with your memberships and paying it forward, it is delightful.

Expand full comment
Patrick's avatar

What a lovely read. Hope you’re doing well.

Expand full comment
Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

I was particularly struck by your statement: “I do not want to waste my life energy in heated and hated pursuit of them, I don’t sense that punishment is the way.” This is a sentiment that resonates deeply with me. It’s so easy to get caught up in anger and the desire for revenge, especially when we feel wronged. But what does that really accomplish? Often, it just perpetuates a cycle of negativity. Your focus on Restorative Justice is such a powerful alternative. It shifts the focus from retribution to healing and understanding. It's so different from a lot of people's initial reaction. I always hear about how they will get those people, make them pay, and so on. I think that it takes a bigger person to look for peace and not war. It's a brave stance in a world that often seems to glorify revenge. I feel like that quote encapsulates your outlook and how you view life.

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

Thank you, Alexander, I appreciate your deep reading of this piece. As I've mentioned in another comment, I'm not sure I see my response as 'brave' as much as it is practical. The world really does work better when we can find our way to these kinds of skillful responses rather than reactivity fueled by strong, unprocessed and undigested emotions. It seems really obvious to me, but clearly a lot of folks don't seem to get that!

Expand full comment
Kristin Barendsen's avatar

“We will lose what we love, and we never saw it coming. Trauma will try to take root in our bodies…..” It’s all so shattering, indeed… I’m so sorry this happened. I hope that you’re a strong practice will help the roots of this trauma not take hold. You write so beautifully about it, gathering many threads. That is some measure of redemption, right there…

Expand full comment
Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Maia! I'm glad you're okay and at the same time I hope you are safe. Twice seems scary enough to have your personal space invaded.

I appreciate the perspective you took here, as well. It's much needed in this day and age.

So glad you have a community who supports you and helped you get your car functioning again.

Expand full comment
Christopher Meesto Erato's avatar

Wow - when it rains it pours! Sorry to hear about the additional personal space invasion of the rock through the window. Your grace and Buddhist vibe is awesome.

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

And literally -- a couple of days after the living room incident, it rained more in Northern New Mexico than it had all year! Grateful for neighbors who helped to board up the window.

Expand full comment
Kristin Barendsen's avatar

Oh God, that’s right, so glad you got it boarded up!

Expand full comment
Swarnali Mukherjee's avatar

Maia, this is immensely disturbing. I am sending prayers and keeping you in my mindfulness. I can’t image the level of frustration, fear, anger, and just general disheveled sense of security you are in. Please be safe and do what is necessary for your safety and well being. Please keep us posted.

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

Thank you, dear Swarnali. I'm doing pretty okay at this point, but it has been a deeply emotional time.

Expand full comment
Swarnali Mukherjee's avatar

I can totally understand dear friend. I am glad you dealt with the circumstances with gentle wisdom and calm. Sending you love ❤️

Expand full comment
Sandra Pawula's avatar

Maia, I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. I know it would be traumatic for me, and I'm sending my love and prayers for your healing as you go about taking care of logistics. I appreciate how you see the web of interconnection and refuse to fall into hatred.

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

Thank you, dear Sandra.

Expand full comment
Susan moon's avatar

Wow--I'm sorry! I appreciate your courage and your ability not to be swept into vengeful anger. And I'm glad you're taking steps toward greater security at your house. Your life experiences are always a guiding force for me.

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

Dear Sue -- your life experiences are always a guiding force for me! Appreciating you.... glad you and Nora had a visit by that lovely window before all this happened.

Expand full comment
Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Dear Maia, my heart goes out to you. We are living in such dangerous times that mirrors our global issues.

I’m relieved and thankful you weren’t physically harmed. Though I’m aware of the emotional and spiritual impact. Your grace and guidance in taking refuge in the teachings is a lesson we all can heed. Be well.

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

Grateful for your empathy and support, Paulette.

Expand full comment
Logan Juliano, PhD's avatar

I’m so sorry this happened and grateful to read this piece. Sending you and Lucy much, much metta.

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

Thank you, Logan. Lucy and I are doing okay. Lucy actually slept peacefully through both incidents!

Expand full comment
Tom Bentley's avatar

Maia, such a shock and such a violation of your home and serenity. Your attitude is strong, however, and your resilence shows.

Expand full comment
Marisol Muñoz-Kiehne's avatar

Home, car struck by rocks,

shattered glass, but not her soul.

Restorative chance.

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

thank you for this haiku gift, Marisol!

Expand full comment