Since I resigned my principalship in order, at that time, to take care of my Dad 24/7, my life’s pace slowed considerably--and I could feel the difference in my body, mind, and soul. As you state eloquently, it was done “intentionally.” That was a part of my practice of caregiving, self-caregiving, and mindfulness. I just returned from a week-long trip to Manhattan. Now, I love NY, but I immediately felt the different pace--in my body, mind, and soul. Until I was able to get deeply into Central Park. It’s funny what I noticed this trip--the majority of honks from cars are to warn pedestrians who ignore the “do not walk” signals at intersections. It seems that, for New Yorkers, those signals are “suggestions only.” So I witnessed many a close call between car and person--all in the name of that one pedestrian “needing to get to the other side quicker.” Our culture absolutely has warped time--as my Dad neared his death, time for him became irrelevant which was one of his greatest teachings for me. Thank you for writing this post, Maia. And thank you for the reminder--time is too important to waste by speeding so fast through it only in the name of trying to capture more of it.
Yes, caregiving is a portal into slowing down -- whether we welcome it or not! It's wonderful that you entered that portal with such intention, Kert. I can't say that I did that when I first had to step more into a role of taking care of my parents' lives. Eventually I got there, but I went through a lot of resistance first (something I'm writing about in the memoir).
And yes, NYC is such a fast-paced place. Suggestions-only, hahaha! You're reminding me of an everyday practice I have to help me slow down. When I'm driving and I come to a yellow light, I slow down and stop rather than speeding through it. That's been so helpful to me, personally, in slowing down... and whatever small contribution I can make to a world of safer drivers, I'm happy to do it.
Isn’t it remarkable that while we are engaged in deconstructing the progressive era in the U.S. we have also regressed back to the late nineteenth century’s obsession with time management? Sometimes I think the merry-go-round is going backwards.
"Notice things you tend to multi-task, and experiment with separating them and doing just one thing at a time. — This is one thing I've been working on with varying levels of success... okay, mostly failure 😂. It's soo hard to just do one thing! I can't "just" be eating. I can't "just" be watching TV. I "just" be reading. Perhaps about the only thing that I can do just by itself is writing.
It is busy indeed! Carryover from years climbing the corporate ladder. Thankfully, these days, it is busy with creative ideas and worthwhile projects 😊
I so appreciate this post! I've been having some similar inquiries lately, trying to slow my life down since I moved to Vancouver Island and trying to be intentional about how I relate to time. Have you read the book Saving Time by Jenny Odell? I recommend it. She takes a deep dive into our understanding of time and how we've allowed capitalism to shape it.
There is this concept in yoga of “waiting” and I think what you have described in your piece alludes to that. Also, “do nothing”. Both of these practices are hard to grasp in our geared up lives, intentionality gives us a choice. For years now I’ve had the wise words of a friend taped to my drafting table tool box, “finish one thing at a time”. Thank you. What a great piece you wrote.
Oh man… this is a nice, well-timed reminder for me. Last year, I lived on a sailboat with my partner as we took time off from work, and time was so different. The weather and tides influenced us; we had to sail at specific times, do certain things in a specific order. But we also only had ourselves to account for—no bosses, no children, no roommates, and no internet nor phone at many times—so we were often in no rush. It was a very helpful experience to detach from the western capitalistic language/views of time you describe here. It was lovely. And I think I’ve drifted back into that language/view in the past few months... Thank you for the prompt to pay more attention.
What an amazing experience that must have been! Have you written about that time in your life, Kiki? Would be wonderful to hear more.
And yes -- being back in this western capitalist-driven experience of time, it can feel like swimming against the stream to resist that compulsion to rush. But it's worth doing. Thank you for your thoughtful read and this comment.
I wrote a lot about the boat while on the boat, But I haven’t shared/written in any public way, at least not yet… I want to! It’s just a matter of deciding what to share and what to write at this point.
Those points about not treating time as a commodity (waste time, spend time, ...) and teasing out "multitasking" are well taken. Rethinking time is deeply need, and learning how to relate to it again.
We had a very similar experience to yours when we first arrived in Costa Rica, it was incredibly jarring for about 72 hours, and then incredibly liberating. I find the subjective nature of time eternally fascinating ;) it's especially fun when I manage to stop myself from subscribing to the idea that it's linear, and that I have to believe in it. Beautiful practice suggestions around language, thank you for that, Maia.
I'm better, Lucy got the worst of the attack. She's been pretty uncomfortable/in pain, and she has a drain in her cheek to move the fluids from a puncture bite. She's slowly improving, but it's rough.
Thank you Maia for such an introspective look at our current time warp. I appreciate how you pointed out that we don't necessarily have to do everything slowly if we are intentional about our time and actions. When we release the sense of urgency we can move at any pace we desire and remain firmly in the right time zone.
Albert Einstein said the only reason for time is to keep everything from happening at once. Remember, it’s only a matter of time until time doesn’t matter. Thanks for you wisdom on this, Maia.
I've been playing with time, as well. What I've found helpful for me is to write down a priority list--what absolutely needs to be done. I then organize my day with my priorities top of mind. (First off, writing, meditation and exercise!) Then I do my best to stay present in each activity, knowing it's the most important thing that needs doing. I'm trying to reform my thinking as I always feel like I'm rushing because there's so much i want to be doing. I'm trying to reframe my thinking from there "not being enough time" to the idea that there is enough time for everything. I'm trying to get out of that scarcity thinking. But life is full of interruptions, so it's not always easy!
Oh I love that approach, Diane! It reminds me of a great book, "The Power of Full Engagement," where the authors emphasize that what's most important is managing our energy, not our time. When we prioritize what is most life-giving to us, we'll quite naturally make the best use of our time.
Since I resigned my principalship in order, at that time, to take care of my Dad 24/7, my life’s pace slowed considerably--and I could feel the difference in my body, mind, and soul. As you state eloquently, it was done “intentionally.” That was a part of my practice of caregiving, self-caregiving, and mindfulness. I just returned from a week-long trip to Manhattan. Now, I love NY, but I immediately felt the different pace--in my body, mind, and soul. Until I was able to get deeply into Central Park. It’s funny what I noticed this trip--the majority of honks from cars are to warn pedestrians who ignore the “do not walk” signals at intersections. It seems that, for New Yorkers, those signals are “suggestions only.” So I witnessed many a close call between car and person--all in the name of that one pedestrian “needing to get to the other side quicker.” Our culture absolutely has warped time--as my Dad neared his death, time for him became irrelevant which was one of his greatest teachings for me. Thank you for writing this post, Maia. And thank you for the reminder--time is too important to waste by speeding so fast through it only in the name of trying to capture more of it.
Yes, caregiving is a portal into slowing down -- whether we welcome it or not! It's wonderful that you entered that portal with such intention, Kert. I can't say that I did that when I first had to step more into a role of taking care of my parents' lives. Eventually I got there, but I went through a lot of resistance first (something I'm writing about in the memoir).
And yes, NYC is such a fast-paced place. Suggestions-only, hahaha! You're reminding me of an everyday practice I have to help me slow down. When I'm driving and I come to a yellow light, I slow down and stop rather than speeding through it. That's been so helpful to me, personally, in slowing down... and whatever small contribution I can make to a world of safer drivers, I'm happy to do it.
Isn’t it remarkable that while we are engaged in deconstructing the progressive era in the U.S. we have also regressed back to the late nineteenth century’s obsession with time management? Sometimes I think the merry-go-round is going backwards.
"Notice things you tend to multi-task, and experiment with separating them and doing just one thing at a time. — This is one thing I've been working on with varying levels of success... okay, mostly failure 😂. It's soo hard to just do one thing! I can't "just" be eating. I can't "just" be watching TV. I "just" be reading. Perhaps about the only thing that I can do just by itself is writing.
As I read your comment, I can see an LA freeway interchange in my mind … my goodness, it must be quite busy in your mind!
It is busy indeed! Carryover from years climbing the corporate ladder. Thankfully, these days, it is busy with creative ideas and worthwhile projects 😊
Rubber time! Absolutely love that phrase.
I so appreciate this post! I've been having some similar inquiries lately, trying to slow my life down since I moved to Vancouver Island and trying to be intentional about how I relate to time. Have you read the book Saving Time by Jenny Odell? I recommend it. She takes a deep dive into our understanding of time and how we've allowed capitalism to shape it.
I haven't read that book yet, but a recommendation from you is always worth paying attention to, Heather!
I second that book recommendation! Such an amazing text.
There is this concept in yoga of “waiting” and I think what you have described in your piece alludes to that. Also, “do nothing”. Both of these practices are hard to grasp in our geared up lives, intentionality gives us a choice. For years now I’ve had the wise words of a friend taped to my drafting table tool box, “finish one thing at a time”. Thank you. What a great piece you wrote.
Oh man… this is a nice, well-timed reminder for me. Last year, I lived on a sailboat with my partner as we took time off from work, and time was so different. The weather and tides influenced us; we had to sail at specific times, do certain things in a specific order. But we also only had ourselves to account for—no bosses, no children, no roommates, and no internet nor phone at many times—so we were often in no rush. It was a very helpful experience to detach from the western capitalistic language/views of time you describe here. It was lovely. And I think I’ve drifted back into that language/view in the past few months... Thank you for the prompt to pay more attention.
What an amazing experience that must have been! Have you written about that time in your life, Kiki? Would be wonderful to hear more.
And yes -- being back in this western capitalist-driven experience of time, it can feel like swimming against the stream to resist that compulsion to rush. But it's worth doing. Thank you for your thoughtful read and this comment.
It’s so worth it.
I wrote a lot about the boat while on the boat, But I haven’t shared/written in any public way, at least not yet… I want to! It’s just a matter of deciding what to share and what to write at this point.
Those points about not treating time as a commodity (waste time, spend time, ...) and teasing out "multitasking" are well taken. Rethinking time is deeply need, and learning how to relate to it again.
We had a very similar experience to yours when we first arrived in Costa Rica, it was incredibly jarring for about 72 hours, and then incredibly liberating. I find the subjective nature of time eternally fascinating ;) it's especially fun when I manage to stop myself from subscribing to the idea that it's linear, and that I have to believe in it. Beautiful practice suggestions around language, thank you for that, Maia.
Are you and the doggy better?
I'm better, Lucy got the worst of the attack. She's been pretty uncomfortable/in pain, and she has a drain in her cheek to move the fluids from a puncture bite. She's slowly improving, but it's rough.
Oh hon… I hope it passes quickly
Thank you Maia for such an introspective look at our current time warp. I appreciate how you pointed out that we don't necessarily have to do everything slowly if we are intentional about our time and actions. When we release the sense of urgency we can move at any pace we desire and remain firmly in the right time zone.
Albert Einstein said the only reason for time is to keep everything from happening at once. Remember, it’s only a matter of time until time doesn’t matter. Thanks for you wisdom on this, Maia.
I've been playing with time, as well. What I've found helpful for me is to write down a priority list--what absolutely needs to be done. I then organize my day with my priorities top of mind. (First off, writing, meditation and exercise!) Then I do my best to stay present in each activity, knowing it's the most important thing that needs doing. I'm trying to reform my thinking as I always feel like I'm rushing because there's so much i want to be doing. I'm trying to reframe my thinking from there "not being enough time" to the idea that there is enough time for everything. I'm trying to get out of that scarcity thinking. But life is full of interruptions, so it's not always easy!
Oh I love that approach, Diane! It reminds me of a great book, "The Power of Full Engagement," where the authors emphasize that what's most important is managing our energy, not our time. When we prioritize what is most life-giving to us, we'll quite naturally make the best use of our time.
Beautiful! Thank you!! XO