I have a similar neighbor and a similar story. Now I have her key in my house in case of emergency and her dogs need to be let out. We couldn't be more different but we are neighbors that help each other.
What a profound experience of getting to know your neighbor and no longer seeing her as other! I do believe it is only the micro interactions such as this that can heal our division.
This is so refreshing. You can guess what my thoughts on 45, but it is a miserable thing to vilify Trump supporters. That really hit home with me a few years ago when there was a flood that hit Eastern Kentucky (close to where I grew up) which killed many people, including one family’s four children. On Twitter progressives were saying that Appalachians “deserved” it because they had voted for Trump and were ignoring climate change. I don’t think I have ever seen so many the Left behave in such a dehumanizing way. Thank you for being a person with this person.
Oh wow, Sarah, that's a terrible story about the way folks on Twitter were talking about Appalachians. Dehumanization, no matter where it comes from, is the closest thing I know of to 'sin.' Also I have to stop and think -- who benefits from crap like that?
May we all find our humanity and see it in each other. Solidarity grows from that point too.
Love to see it! I work in bridging the political divide and decreasing political polarization, so I am constantly trying to figure out the secret sauce of stories like these—why you were generous enough to see Andrea as a neighbor rather than an enemy and how those tearing down her lawn signs can get closer to that generosity.
I also think it helps to be neighbors -- literally. The neighborhood we live in has some challenges, and there is an incentive to watch out for each other. That's not the only reason this unlikely friendship has evolved, but I think that folks who live in more isolated areas where they may not 'need' each other in the same way don't always have a reason to find a way across this divide.
this is everything, all of it, and a bouquet of flowers. heartening and uplifting and you're just two women doing your best, in the end. beautiful, Maia. thank you, bowing to you.
Maia, thank you for sharing this. In this time of the great divide it is so easy to lose track of our humanity. Your story is one we all can learn from. I appreciate how you mention that your practices help your willingness to drop your preconceived notions. Even with them it's not always simple or easy. Great photo!
For sure, not always simple or easy! But I feel like the end result has been worth it. It feels so much more relaxing to live next to someone that I've taken time to build a relationship with than someone I continue to harbor ill will toward.
This is wonderful! It's important to see and experience others in their humanity rather than two-dimensional chariactures of an ideology. We are all much more than our ideas. The world needs more of this.
Maia, I appreciate this piece and your openness to your neighbor when her Trump signs were turned down. I especially liked the essential advice you gave at the end: to let go of preconceptions and be willing to listen. I expect many Trump supporters to operate based on fear. When we hear a person's fears, we connect on a far more human level. Thank you, Maia.
Love this! I’m a former Democrat living in a very purple area, and I’m sad to say that multiple friends have stopped speaking to me because I voted for Trump. The division and rancor deeply saddens me, and the media and political rhetoric on both sides only increases tensions. I hate the word misinformation but there’s a lot of it, people lying or taking things out of context to get likes or votes or clicks. The idea that there’s a “good” side and a “bad” side is deeply damaging to our country and most people have incredibly nuanced views and beliefs that those on “the other side” often don’t bother to engage with or understand, only assuming because of who someone voted for. I truly hope that we can begin to turn down the temperature and respect each other again, and posts like this go a long way toward that!
Thank you for this, Maia. My neighbors and I do not share the same political views or have the same opinions about society in general, but we help each other out, listen to each other, etc. Relationships, talking and listening, help me to see people as people. They are an antidote to fear.
So beautiful! It really is SO easy to "other" people and thanks for illuminating HOW to break down these barriers and see someone you disagree with on a more personal level.
I loved this "One of the ways that this work starts is with a willingness to drop whatever preconceptions we may be holding about each other (a capacity that, by the way, is greatly enhanced through having a consistent contemplative practice)."
Thanks for sharing this fantastic story Maia. I think the stories of one human connecting with another in this way are more common than the main stream news would have us believe. The polarization that’s instilled in us is so sad, the more we see stuff like this the better.
My husband, Leif Smith, came up with a simple image decades ago, which explains our point of view. Everyone is a jewel with hundreds? of facets. And it's likely one of your facets connects with one of their facets.
We tend to ignore the labels and enjoy discovering commonalities and the ways we can be useful to each other. As a result, our friendships and networks span the political and philosophical spectra. And if all we can do is smile and wish the other person well, it's a start.
For the record, I have identified as a libertarian since 1978, so am used to being denounced by, well, everyone. (Grin) And, we get along with all of our neighbors and family members. It's really not so hard.
Love this Maia! My dearest friend is Republican and we have a similiar connection. She doesn’t care for Trump’s “personality” but she’s “always voted rep and can’t change now” 🙄I don’t roll my eyes but we’ve gotten to the point of democracy… which she thinks means democrats! Another eye roll inside me! We agree on how awful trump is but she likes that he gets away with stuff.. like a kid cheering on the class clown. Interestingly, we talk about our gay granddaughters and their rights, all women rights. All over lunch or during pickleball league and we laugh and have fun together. I don’t get it… she’s seems nice and smart but not going to vote blue. Long way of saying your story shows that we can fix devide if we try, care, bend, and listen with ears and hearts. Thanks for reminding me of my friend and that being nice goes a long way! In the end… it’s our neighbors and friends who’ll have our backs. Great essay here!
I have a similar neighbor and a similar story. Now I have her key in my house in case of emergency and her dogs need to be let out. We couldn't be more different but we are neighbors that help each other.
That's wonderful, Renee. I'm glad to hear there are more stories like this out there.
What a profound experience of getting to know your neighbor and no longer seeing her as other! I do believe it is only the micro interactions such as this that can heal our division.
I agree!
Yes!
This is so refreshing. You can guess what my thoughts on 45, but it is a miserable thing to vilify Trump supporters. That really hit home with me a few years ago when there was a flood that hit Eastern Kentucky (close to where I grew up) which killed many people, including one family’s four children. On Twitter progressives were saying that Appalachians “deserved” it because they had voted for Trump and were ignoring climate change. I don’t think I have ever seen so many the Left behave in such a dehumanizing way. Thank you for being a person with this person.
Oh wow, Sarah, that's a terrible story about the way folks on Twitter were talking about Appalachians. Dehumanization, no matter where it comes from, is the closest thing I know of to 'sin.' Also I have to stop and think -- who benefits from crap like that?
May we all find our humanity and see it in each other. Solidarity grows from that point too.
Totally. May it be so 🙏🏼
Love to see it! I work in bridging the political divide and decreasing political polarization, so I am constantly trying to figure out the secret sauce of stories like these—why you were generous enough to see Andrea as a neighbor rather than an enemy and how those tearing down her lawn signs can get closer to that generosity.
I also think it helps to be neighbors -- literally. The neighborhood we live in has some challenges, and there is an incentive to watch out for each other. That's not the only reason this unlikely friendship has evolved, but I think that folks who live in more isolated areas where they may not 'need' each other in the same way don't always have a reason to find a way across this divide.
Yes, love this. It's hard sometimes but connecting to our shared humanity-sickness, struggle, safety-is a real wisdom practice. x
this is everything, all of it, and a bouquet of flowers. heartening and uplifting and you're just two women doing your best, in the end. beautiful, Maia. thank you, bowing to you.
thank you, Elena.
Maia, thank you for sharing this. In this time of the great divide it is so easy to lose track of our humanity. Your story is one we all can learn from. I appreciate how you mention that your practices help your willingness to drop your preconceived notions. Even with them it's not always simple or easy. Great photo!
For sure, not always simple or easy! But I feel like the end result has been worth it. It feels so much more relaxing to live next to someone that I've taken time to build a relationship with than someone I continue to harbor ill will toward.
This is wonderful! It's important to see and experience others in their humanity rather than two-dimensional chariactures of an ideology. We are all much more than our ideas. The world needs more of this.
Maia, I appreciate this piece and your openness to your neighbor when her Trump signs were turned down. I especially liked the essential advice you gave at the end: to let go of preconceptions and be willing to listen. I expect many Trump supporters to operate based on fear. When we hear a person's fears, we connect on a far more human level. Thank you, Maia.
Duality sucks.
Love this! I’m a former Democrat living in a very purple area, and I’m sad to say that multiple friends have stopped speaking to me because I voted for Trump. The division and rancor deeply saddens me, and the media and political rhetoric on both sides only increases tensions. I hate the word misinformation but there’s a lot of it, people lying or taking things out of context to get likes or votes or clicks. The idea that there’s a “good” side and a “bad” side is deeply damaging to our country and most people have incredibly nuanced views and beliefs that those on “the other side” often don’t bother to engage with or understand, only assuming because of who someone voted for. I truly hope that we can begin to turn down the temperature and respect each other again, and posts like this go a long way toward that!
Thank you for this, Maia. My neighbors and I do not share the same political views or have the same opinions about society in general, but we help each other out, listen to each other, etc. Relationships, talking and listening, help me to see people as people. They are an antidote to fear.
So beautiful! It really is SO easy to "other" people and thanks for illuminating HOW to break down these barriers and see someone you disagree with on a more personal level.
I loved this "One of the ways that this work starts is with a willingness to drop whatever preconceptions we may be holding about each other (a capacity that, by the way, is greatly enhanced through having a consistent contemplative practice)."
Thanks for sharing this fantastic story Maia. I think the stories of one human connecting with another in this way are more common than the main stream news would have us believe. The polarization that’s instilled in us is so sad, the more we see stuff like this the better.
I agree, Donna!
My husband, Leif Smith, came up with a simple image decades ago, which explains our point of view. Everyone is a jewel with hundreds? of facets. And it's likely one of your facets connects with one of their facets.
We tend to ignore the labels and enjoy discovering commonalities and the ways we can be useful to each other. As a result, our friendships and networks span the political and philosophical spectra. And if all we can do is smile and wish the other person well, it's a start.
For the record, I have identified as a libertarian since 1978, so am used to being denounced by, well, everyone. (Grin) And, we get along with all of our neighbors and family members. It's really not so hard.
Love this Maia! My dearest friend is Republican and we have a similiar connection. She doesn’t care for Trump’s “personality” but she’s “always voted rep and can’t change now” 🙄I don’t roll my eyes but we’ve gotten to the point of democracy… which she thinks means democrats! Another eye roll inside me! We agree on how awful trump is but she likes that he gets away with stuff.. like a kid cheering on the class clown. Interestingly, we talk about our gay granddaughters and their rights, all women rights. All over lunch or during pickleball league and we laugh and have fun together. I don’t get it… she’s seems nice and smart but not going to vote blue. Long way of saying your story shows that we can fix devide if we try, care, bend, and listen with ears and hearts. Thanks for reminding me of my friend and that being nice goes a long way! In the end… it’s our neighbors and friends who’ll have our backs. Great essay here!