So fun to see and hear about places I've never been. Thanks for this vicarious road trip, Maia - and for sharing the tenderness of your mission, too. 🕊️
It really did, Katarina. I skipped over some of the more challenging aspects of the journey but even with those, it felt like a trip that needed to be taken and yielded comfort and peace in the end.
What a wonderful account Maia. Route 66... I remember when my mother, who had never left France, had this fascination with the 'Historic Road' very much covered by French magazines, maybe that's how I was called to emigrate to America in my twenties. So look forward to part 2.
I love the pictures, especially of you as a baby and the one of your parents and Lucy at the park. And I know Winter Sun; I've passed it dozens of times (probably even followed my partner and her mom inside once or twice lol).
Maia, I really enjoyed going along on this trip with you! Pasadena was the first place we lived when we moved from Chicago to California, but we were there for less than a year. I don't know how I've missed out on the joys of In-N-Out Burger, but I know it's the first place my niece goes after her arrival at LAX or SFO when she returns from France once or twice a year.
Really, how interesting, Sandra! Do you remember anything about Pasadena in the short time you lived there? What year would that have been? I was there from birth, 1961, until I moved away for college, 1981 or so as I recall.
Maia, I didn’t live there long. We stayed with my older brother, who was going to Caltech, for a while, and I just remember the ambiance being very pleasant. You would have been barely a baby when I was there. We moved to Monrovia for a while, but not too much later to Orange County.
I loved this travelog. It was perfect timing for me. I'm leaving soon to head south for a short trip to recon new places to relocate. It will be the same road trip from youth in addition to a route my recently deceased husband often traveled for work. I must spread his ashes at some point and reading this helped me with some ideas. Thank you. And you gave the perfect details to jog my.memory of how deeply my connections with Southern California once were. My extended family migrated there in the early 60s. When I finally made my first trip there in the mid 70s I was simply awestruck. There is no other place in the USA like Southern Cal... it's a magical place... and yes it's changed to the almost unrecognizable but the spirit is still there... thanks for such a great piece, perfectly timed for me on this full moon.
So glad this travel piece came at just the right time for you, Patti. I wish you well as you discern where you will spread your husband's ashes. I didn't write about it here but it will come in part 2 -- I actually ended up leaving my parents' ashes in five places. I was surprised at how many ashes there were. So perhaps that option too can help relieve some of the pressure (if you're feeling any) -- it doesn't have to be just one 'perfect' spot.
I'm glad you shared how many ashes there were. I had no idea how many. My husband was 6’5, 360 pounds. I suppose that may account for them. And, yes you relieved some of the pressure. I never thought about going multiple places. I want to save enough so that when I go my person will spread the rest of his and mine together. I can't wait to read part 2 of this experience. Tough times, but what you did was put some meaning and an experience together for the deed. Great idea. (My husband was a long distance truck driver, so your share opened up infinite possibilities for me.) Thank you.💛
I love this! So evocative and I’d love to stay in that wonderful hotel in Arizona. I love your stealth ritual with your parents’ ashes! Visiting the places of one’s youth is so bittersweet. In October 2024 Sridhar and I drove out west from Pennsylvania with our tiny camper he built. On the way home we stopped in Madison, Wisconsin, where we met in 1988. It was a beautiful day and we sat by the lake at Memorial Union, then walked up to the Capitol square, a pilgrimage of sorts—something we had done dozens of times back then. I delighted in a shop I loved that was still there, and regaled the student-age clerk with stories of my time as a student. And felt like an authentic old fart 😄
Thank you for reminding me on my epic road trip through those parts. I still cherish those memories. I am glad you found a „perfect“ spot for your parents ashes. (Something not possible in Germany)
Maia, because we have what are known as cemetery and burial regulations. They are very strict. The burial of the deceased may only be carried out by undertakers and at designated locations, i.e., in a cemetery or in a so-called forest cemetery, or as an official burial at sea. It has to be undertaken in each case by the undertaker. No German citizen is allowed to take the ashes of the deceased home with them; this is not permitted in Germany. That is the reason.
This is tied to our general regulations around birth and death. We have both an official birth register and an official death register for every person born in Germany. Every person born in Germany receives a birth certificate, and every person who dies receives a death certificate. At the same time, each birth or death is entered in the birth or death register of the respective city. Only with a death certificate is it possible to claim inheritance and arrange a funeral.
Interesting. Death is pretty regulated here in the U.S. as well -- same as Germany, each person receives a birth and death certificate. Without a death certificate, you can't do much to officially close out a person's worldly matters (like claiming inheritance or life insurance payouts).
But I am a bit taken back that in Germany you are not allowed to take the ashes of a deceased person home. There is more leeway here around that, although to some degree there are restrictions here about where you can and can't release ashes, and who you need permission from. I found creative workarounds to those ; )
My husband and I did Route 66 from Albuquerque to Santa Monica right after I retired in 2024. It was one of the best road trips we’ve ever done. Route 66 is a great adventure!
Looking forward to part 2! There is something magical about travel - especially road trips - where we are separated from habit and can be pulled into presence.
We dispersed my mother-in-law's ashes in some not to be named places that she loved!
Growing up in Glendale I am familiar with much of Pasadena. Things have changed so much, but like you certain places have not changed - perhaps you know the Green Hotel. My grandmother and I rode the bus there one day to have lunch. Safe travels 🙏🪷
So fun to see and hear about places I've never been. Thanks for this vicarious road trip, Maia - and for sharing the tenderness of your mission, too. 🕊️
Such a beautiful and meaningful trip. Thank you for sharing it with us. It sounds like it gave you great comfort and peace.
It really did, Katarina. I skipped over some of the more challenging aspects of the journey but even with those, it felt like a trip that needed to be taken and yielded comfort and peace in the end.
What a wonderful account Maia. Route 66... I remember when my mother, who had never left France, had this fascination with the 'Historic Road' very much covered by French magazines, maybe that's how I was called to emigrate to America in my twenties. So look forward to part 2.
So interesting your mother had that connection with Route 66, Dominique. And that perhaps it’s part of your story of coming here. Love it!
So enlivening to hear your voice and your journey. I miss you. I’ve moved to Mexico. Perhaps that could be another chapter of your travelogue?
Great to see you here, Annette! Let's email or text or something... soon....
I love the pictures, especially of you as a baby and the one of your parents and Lucy at the park. And I know Winter Sun; I've passed it dozens of times (probably even followed my partner and her mom inside once or twice lol).
Thanks for sharing your trip with us, Maia. 🙏💚
my pleasure! I think there will be a part 2, seems like there is enough interest. there were plenty more vignettes from the road.
Maia, I really enjoyed going along on this trip with you! Pasadena was the first place we lived when we moved from Chicago to California, but we were there for less than a year. I don't know how I've missed out on the joys of In-N-Out Burger, but I know it's the first place my niece goes after her arrival at LAX or SFO when she returns from France once or twice a year.
Really, how interesting, Sandra! Do you remember anything about Pasadena in the short time you lived there? What year would that have been? I was there from birth, 1961, until I moved away for college, 1981 or so as I recall.
Maia, I didn’t live there long. We stayed with my older brother, who was going to Caltech, for a while, and I just remember the ambiance being very pleasant. You would have been barely a baby when I was there. We moved to Monrovia for a while, but not too much later to Orange County.
I loved this travelog. It was perfect timing for me. I'm leaving soon to head south for a short trip to recon new places to relocate. It will be the same road trip from youth in addition to a route my recently deceased husband often traveled for work. I must spread his ashes at some point and reading this helped me with some ideas. Thank you. And you gave the perfect details to jog my.memory of how deeply my connections with Southern California once were. My extended family migrated there in the early 60s. When I finally made my first trip there in the mid 70s I was simply awestruck. There is no other place in the USA like Southern Cal... it's a magical place... and yes it's changed to the almost unrecognizable but the spirit is still there... thanks for such a great piece, perfectly timed for me on this full moon.
So glad this travel piece came at just the right time for you, Patti. I wish you well as you discern where you will spread your husband's ashes. I didn't write about it here but it will come in part 2 -- I actually ended up leaving my parents' ashes in five places. I was surprised at how many ashes there were. So perhaps that option too can help relieve some of the pressure (if you're feeling any) -- it doesn't have to be just one 'perfect' spot.
I'm glad you shared how many ashes there were. I had no idea how many. My husband was 6’5, 360 pounds. I suppose that may account for them. And, yes you relieved some of the pressure. I never thought about going multiple places. I want to save enough so that when I go my person will spread the rest of his and mine together. I can't wait to read part 2 of this experience. Tough times, but what you did was put some meaning and an experience together for the deed. Great idea. (My husband was a long distance truck driver, so your share opened up infinite possibilities for me.) Thank you.💛
I love this! So evocative and I’d love to stay in that wonderful hotel in Arizona. I love your stealth ritual with your parents’ ashes! Visiting the places of one’s youth is so bittersweet. In October 2024 Sridhar and I drove out west from Pennsylvania with our tiny camper he built. On the way home we stopped in Madison, Wisconsin, where we met in 1988. It was a beautiful day and we sat by the lake at Memorial Union, then walked up to the Capitol square, a pilgrimage of sorts—something we had done dozens of times back then. I delighted in a shop I loved that was still there, and regaled the student-age clerk with stories of my time as a student. And felt like an authentic old fart 😄
Thank you for reminding me on my epic road trip through those parts. I still cherish those memories. I am glad you found a „perfect“ spot for your parents ashes. (Something not possible in Germany)
Memories are a wonderful thing!
I'm curious, Jay -- why would this not be possible in Germany?
Maia, because we have what are known as cemetery and burial regulations. They are very strict. The burial of the deceased may only be carried out by undertakers and at designated locations, i.e., in a cemetery or in a so-called forest cemetery, or as an official burial at sea. It has to be undertaken in each case by the undertaker. No German citizen is allowed to take the ashes of the deceased home with them; this is not permitted in Germany. That is the reason.
This is tied to our general regulations around birth and death. We have both an official birth register and an official death register for every person born in Germany. Every person born in Germany receives a birth certificate, and every person who dies receives a death certificate. At the same time, each birth or death is entered in the birth or death register of the respective city. Only with a death certificate is it possible to claim inheritance and arrange a funeral.
Interesting. Death is pretty regulated here in the U.S. as well -- same as Germany, each person receives a birth and death certificate. Without a death certificate, you can't do much to officially close out a person's worldly matters (like claiming inheritance or life insurance payouts).
But I am a bit taken back that in Germany you are not allowed to take the ashes of a deceased person home. There is more leeway here around that, although to some degree there are restrictions here about where you can and can't release ashes, and who you need permission from. I found creative workarounds to those ; )
My husband and I did Route 66 from Albuquerque to Santa Monica right after I retired in 2024. It was one of the best road trips we’ve ever done. Route 66 is a great adventure!
Looking forward to part 2! There is something magical about travel - especially road trips - where we are separated from habit and can be pulled into presence.
We dispersed my mother-in-law's ashes in some not to be named places that she loved!
What a delight to read about your road trip, Maia. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.💕
‘separated from habit and pulled into presence’ — yes, that’s it!
Growing up in Glendale I am familiar with much of Pasadena. Things have changed so much, but like you certain places have not changed - perhaps you know the Green Hotel. My grandmother and I rode the bus there one day to have lunch. Safe travels 🙏🪷
Oh yes, definitely know the Green Hotel. Would often walk by it on my way to school.
So good to meet you in 3D, Maia! :)
I feel the same way, Hilary! was just telling a friend about your book today... she is on a very similar journey.